Well, I was looking forward to introducing you to our new, beautiful chair we waited 8 weeks for to replace the carpet beetle infested chair we threw out in March. Instead, I'm going to tell you the story of the shortest lived chair in the history of mankind. Well, at least in the history of Jason & I.
We got a call last week informing us that the chair we ordered in March was ready to pick up. Now, this wasn't just any chair. It was the perfect chair. I first sat in it nearly a year ago. I obsessed about it. I've been wanting a rocking chair for years, and have never managed to find "The One." After the beetle carpet incident, we decided to go check out The One again. Its prototype was housed in Chic Warehouse in The Heights. I sat. I rocked. I loved. The One.
Normally, I wouldn't spend this much money on a chair. But it was soooo comfortable. And we got to pick out the fabric (despite the guy making fun of our "conservative" style.) After taxes, it cost 58,346 pennies. Or 11,669.2 nickles. Or 5,834.6 dimes. Or 2,333.84 quarters. You get the idea. I had just received a pretty decent bonus at work, so we justified the expense at the time. Plus, can you really put a price on The One?
Well, today, instead of spending $90 on a delivery fee, Jason opted to borrower Ferryn & Steve's truck to go pick up The One. The box fit "snuggly" in the cab of the Ford Ranger, so Jason decided it didn't need to be tied down. The highway felt differently. Not even a mile into the trip, Jason hit a bump and The One flew out of the trunk. The box immediately exploded and The One skipped across the highway. Luckily, The One didn't hit a car. (Believe me, we know we are so lucky in this respect.) Jason immediately called the cops on himself, and by the time he had circled the next exit to pick up The One, a cleaning crew was already there to help.
At this time, I was still at work and I see that I had about five missed calls on my cell phone and a text that says, "answer your phone." When I finally managed to answer, Jason was clearly upset. I thought that maybe he had blown out his knee unloading the chair, so when he told me what happened, I figured it was better than a big injury. It's hard to be mad at someone who feels so bad. I once heard a news story that tears are humans' natural defense system. I can attest that that is probably true.
This is what our old chair looked like right before we took it to the dump. We taped garbage bags on the bottom so we didn't spread any carpet beetles on our way out.
And this is The One after his trip across the highway.
Poor, poor chair. Really, it kinda just looks like we got an exact replacement for our old chair. It doesn't look that much worse. Except our old chair was 10+ years old, and The One is celebrating his 1 day birthday. Oh, and the rocking mechanism didn't make it home - that's why it is so close to the ground. Actually, Radar just kinda sees it as a really nice dog bed. It's only slightly higher than his dog bed in the bedroom, so he is quite happy about the new addition. Obviously, The One isn't a permanent fixture in our living room.
We figure this whole incident must be some type of karma, so Jason and I have decided to donate $583.46 to assist the victims of the Joplin, MO tornado. Wait, make that $583.47. That's right Universe. You were just one (cent) upped.
3 comments:
Oh my. I can't even make too much fun of him. Of course I am showing the blog to everyone I can find at school. He was beginning to need a lesson in humility.
A story for the generations!!! (Please note I will need to make fun of my cousin at least ONCE! Although, I am extrememly happy that nobody was hurt in the making of this episode.)
Well, I guess this is one of those times when we just have to say, "Its just money...." and "lesson learned." I'm so glad you decided to give to the victims of the Joplin tornado. You will find another chair and though it may pinch a bit to respend the money, you will survive this! Love ya.
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